Soul Forte: A Journal for Spiritual Writing is delighted to present Issue 5, featuring writing by Mara Inglezakis Owens, Linda Therese Utstøl, Irene Loy, Miriam Louis, Caroline Reddy, Amrita Skye Blaine, Wendy Jean MacLean, David Morrill Williams, Maggie Pfeffer, and Pam Abela. May you read and resurrect.
Rhus
Near that multi-family housing you are fighting to expand
rhus erupts through three-year-old asphalt as if waiting
for the next pint of dog piss; the next slap
of the next bike tire; the next round
in the freeze-thaw cycle. It has no business
surviving.
Surviving is its business.
Vrukolakes
We should be used to this by now. Thorns. Rods
in hideabeds. Nails in hands and in
coffins.
That song my mother sang with those
tufts beginning to swell like cold-season
grasses on the smooth unbroken soil
of her scalp (she hated wigs):
I get knocked down
but I get up again.
Basil
We can lead separate lives
as long as we have to.
I am just afraid that, next time,
the villagers will be sober enough
to remember where they left us. That
someone will bring a splitting axe
along with the icons and the basil
and those knife-heeled
red-bottom shoes.
Mara Inglezakis Owens dropped out of school ten years ago; she works in IT and lives in the
suburbs. She enjoys gardening, aviation, writing much, and publishing little.
Emptiness is more realistic
you claim
unhappiness stems from
being too intelligent
I can recognize the inclination
the sense of safety in arrogance
words like “loneliness” seduce
lure with promises of
insight and self-importance
the ability to disenchant the world
the desire to build tall buildings
in flat landscape
constructing Metropolis
~Translated from the Norwegian by the author from her collection of poetry Moderne hengivenhet (Modern Devotion), 2019.
A love for cherries made me look for the perfect shade of red
to pat my cheeks, my lips
permanently blushing like a misbehaving child
a subtle assosiation to love
please see me as body
please see my soul through passion
girls in love with love always perish
or are cleansed by fire
Rest and be still
the thrills of existing are so many
first lesson: curate violence
a young boy taming aggression
questioning the statement:
freedom is ruthlessness
I used to resist femininity
as a game I couldn’t win
but now when you touch me
your beauty burns me
sweetly
like the eternal yes of Mary
finally I recognize the ugliness
of the voice that makes my soul small
I recognize accusation and bitterness
my angry hands when I'm yelling
a begging motion
Linda Therese Utstøl is a Norwegian writer. She has published two books of poetry, Mannen er vakker fra livet og opp (2014) and Moderne hengivenhet (2019). Her interests as a writer are honey, Catholicism, love, sex, femininity, masculinity, nature morte, God, desert sand, wine, bread, the ocean, the sky, light, darkness, beauty, virtue, and holiness. Learn more and support Linda Therese's work here.
Lake Placid Evacuational
We spent a year
Driving in circles on Lake Placid
Getting our relationship
let’s call him Suit
good and drunk on IPAs
until he swayed and slurred his words.
Then Anthony Bourdain killed himself
and I thought—we’re next
But ours was homicide
He wore too formal attire for a boat anyway—not a fit
So we pushed Suit overboard
He was struck by another boat
and died on impact
floundering.
Shocked, we lashed out at the water
at time
appearing to be linear, courting regret
watched ravens ducking in the orange light
dragged him on shore
but he couldn’t be brought back
emptied his pockets of Chinese horses
matching keychains
meteorites
Nat Geos
and the letter where he invited me to dance
now waterlogged
concussed
a blatant memory
impossible to resuscitate.
I threw stones in the water
and got in trouble for that.
It was irreverent.
I wanted waves and boat rocking and forest fires
so I have to leave this lake
and it
finally
is leaving me.
Besides—we had to turn our backs—
Suit was an embarrassment, splayed out on the shore like that --
bloated
life leaving through his mouth.
The Tragedy of Losing a Friend
There’s no octopus on the left side of your neck
anymore
No sacred geometry off center on your crown
No beehive on the outside of your right hand
Nothing between your knuckles
whatever you said about living
which you did not do
ultimately
But you did love me once
I remember
over hand-rolled cigarettes
in my yard
Offering to come to Cali with me
like the ray of light you were
No chunky jewelry now
or gauges
jaunty hats
or velvet jackets
Just Alt-J and Matt Maeson
on repeat
How we saw Parasite
to resist the onset of the lockdown
How you were in my bed
when the movers came to pack up my stuff
How I should have loved you better
and got a call instead
The moon fell in love with rock and roll
One night
the moon fell in love with rock and roll
so she watched him admiringly from the sky
each night
noodling his tiny guitars
and spraying audience faces with his artificial lights
until one night
she realized
I wish he loved me back
but he does not
and her big moon tears fell from the heavens
flooding the concert
but nobody cared
they just moved the after party
indoors
London
I dislike London
Endless press of well-heeled souls
One without water
Düsseldorf
They walk among us
Like ghosts in need of housing
Mumbling to themselves
Europe
Europe is just a
series of sweaty streets filled
with masterpieces
Irene Loy is a writer and improviser living in Salt Lake City. She holds an MFA in Dramatic Writing from the University of New Mexico. In 2023, Commonmeter Press published her first book of poetry, I’ve Named the Goddamned Ravens. She is currently a PhD Candidate in Creative Research with Transart Institute and John Moores Liverpool University.
Triptych
Dusk snatches my day,
tucked in a crease of color,
whisked away, recycled,
disguised as tomorrow . . .
cold comfort when a piece of me is lost,
no surrogate between what I was
and will become,
mourning the passage of time
even as it’s being reborn.
*
Midnight manifests in basic black
glamorous with diamond tiara
of Milky Way pavé,
consorts with dark forces
or spirits from the dead.
Mascot moon waxes, wanes,
casts spells on ocean tides,
advances the calendar
as our days dissolve.
*
Dawn unfurls a red carpet,
fiery star in glorious attire
poised to strut the sky.
We rise to our feet,
pointed forward by design,
then face what we must—
knead the hours, shape each day
to bake in sunset's flame
yet no star guarantees
we will partake of the bread.
Originally from New York, Miriam Louis now lives in Washington, DC. Retired from teaching English as a Second Language, she devotes much of her time to writing poetry and has two collections of poems, increments and Crossing Lines. Her other interests include playing bridge and playing the piano.
The Timeline of Autumn
I reset memories of loss
as the fire festival
blazes infinity symbols across
the gateway of spirits.
In my pagan ritual
I steal a scythe
and soothe old carcasses
before harvest meals chime—
our clocks forward.
I close the cycle of my moon blood,
fold into the crevice,
and as the lights dim gently
of candles adrift—
I release my ghosts.
Between the Wildflowers
Breathing in the essence of meadows
I part the ivy overgrown on the stonewall
and step into a hidden portal
where purple tulips awaken my heart.
I watch wildflowers sway alongside
vanishing epitaphs and listen
to frequencies of the cosmos
shift solitary episodes into joyous paths:
a walk through Central Park radiates
smiles, as pink blossoms allow
our imagination to roar.
We soar along the highline in New York City
as the sun reigns above singing sharks.
We witness
a solar eclipse,
comet,
and our love
atop the hills of Sleepy Hollow.
I become fluent in the language of fluidity
stirring images of my elixir box
into the cauldron of time—
existing even in our distancing—
vast and expansive.
We merge our souls into a tapestry
as we watch pumpkins rise in a glorious blaze
towards the peak of Little Stony Point.
Under the Harvest Moon
I gathered pictures of pink crystals
in my elixir box—for there is no potion
to conjure a mystical notion of love
a true embrace occurs when moonlight
alchemizes my phantoms--
and I mesmerize the fates with my plea:
I want to fold and unfold
our bodies in velvet sheets
beyond the dent in my mattress.
A physical space now appears
tying those dreamy sequences
where I rest my head upon your shoulder
and spill my Persian tears--
your touch allows me to be still
as the haunting of ghostings begins to fade.
Across the Autumn Equinox
we create our new dimension
as softness echoes with each caress:
in that rhythm of life--
Jack O’ lanterns blaze the night sky:
and our Harvest moon appears.
Caroline Reddy's work has appeared in numerous journals, and she will be teaching a creative writing workshop at The Poet’s House. Shake the Atmosphere to Reclaim an Empty Moment is her first book, published by Pierian Springs Press. For more information please visit her website: www.carolinereddy.com .
Vespers
Canonical office, sunset
evening light,
slant shafts of gold
trees glow within—
hummingbird long
sweet drafts
last meal
before dark
our street slows
lights flick on
the waft of soup
simmering
the owls, their call
and response like
chanting monks,
the ground
beneath my prayer
for peace, for calm
host for the sacred
we are one bone
aware, I pray
knowing well nothing
is separate
still, I pray
prayers are lies
words always fail
yet the urge is true
this, I pray
the call
I yield myself and am borrowed —D. H. Lawrence
this, the gift
to give over until
willingly taken
I wait
stars winking
plenitude inside
creation, a joining
thee and me
source and means
a seeming two yet
one in play
a labyrinth
this web of words
shivers rush
my back
the unknown calls
retreat hut
I don’t attend church
that stone-steepled place
my sanctuary is inside
an internal hut
I attend
on a regular basis—
not only on Sundays
in fact, I live there
rest in the big
luminous field
offer gratitude
breathe
listen
pray
Amrita Skye Blaine develops themes of aging, disability, and spiritual awakening. Her poems have been accepted by Soul-Lit, Braided Way Magazine, The Merton Seasonal, The Penwood Review, Poetry Breakfast, Delta Poetry Review, and the New English Review. Her first poetry book will be published by Finishing Line Press mid-2025.
We Breathe Without Thinking
Most of the time
breath is just breath.
We breathe
without thinking until we notice
the sky breathing
in cirrus, cumulus, nimbus glory.
Breath turns dust
into trees and angels
and pebbles and sky.
We breathe our way
into deeper prayer
as silence welcomes us
into the unfolding of the mysteries
at her welcome table.
When dying lingers without death,
we hover, listening for birth cries
in the groaning
that clings to life, as pain
signals transition in the labor.
We hold our breath,
hoping our prayers will be midwife and friend.
We sigh to make space for the blessings.
We have held our breath so long
that it turns to light
when we surrender.
Stop, and revel, and remember
God’s first breath
and the groaning of creation
and our birth, then as now,
in this moment of awe.
A Path of Flour
Light sifts the growing wheat.
The child goes to the market with her mother
to get what they need. The wheat is ground
and ready to be made into bread.
The child wants to leave a trail,
a path of flour to mark their way home.
The mother knows they must hide each step
and be ready to run. When the pantry is empty
the woods become dangerous.
The woman makes bread.
The child wants to share.
The woman is strict: We cannot share our bread.
There is not enough.
Across the centuries, I hear the hunger
of my Palatine grandmother
struck by famine.
The years sift flour and the child grows.
In the new land, the bread is plentiful.
The little girl wants to share it
with all her friends.
She invites the whole world.
She shows me the path she left.
Across the centuries, stars turned to bread
and bread turned to stars.
My Palatine grandmother finds her way to me
in the words of consecration.
Blessed and broken. There is enough.
Hanna to Eli: You Have Never Heard
I have been pouring out my soul before the LORD. --1 Samuel 1:15
You did not try to understand
the sounds
coming from my body.
You have never heard ecstasy
or the rumble of rocks shifting and moving
in the heart
as Spirit pushes away obstacles
and smooths the path
into prayer.
This is not a language you choose
to understand.
You refuse to learn the words
for the stirring of water
for the womb of the mountain
for the mercy of God’s ear
pressed against the belly
of the earth.
You think this longing
pouring from my heart
is the voice of wine
stumbling through my body
into the awkward words of pleading
for more.
Listen! Hear my cry
for a child
to fulfill my prayers.
Bless me! Hear me!
Speak my name.
I am a woman deeply troubled.
Bless me! Hear me!
God opens my womb
as water and mountain
shift and move
into earth delivering
new life, new vows
mother and child
and a healed covenant.
Wendy Jean MacLean is an award-winning poet with four books of poetry and several commissioned collaborations with Canadian composers. Publications include Presence, Crosswinds, Gathering, Green Spirit, and Amethyst Review. She is a spiritual director and United Church minister from Ontario, Canada. She is the inaugural host of the Center Quest School of Spiritual Direction Poetry Studio.
Jesus Ruins Everything
When he’s invoked
He’s a loaded gun
Loaded with wonder
Fear
Love
Shaming
Boredom
Blaming
Bullets
Cupid’s arrows
Scorn
Puzzlement
A Rohrschach test
Changing appearance
For each observer
His name is Mudd
Savior
Hubris
Redeemer
Rapscallion
Sanctifier
Ultimate Poseur
Is Jesus worth anything in this world?
(People will only see what they want to see.)
A blot of ink.
Pity.
David Morrill Williams is a poet and songwriter-hymnwriter who came to these pursuits
later in life. He is a retired Program Director and Teacher of English to Speakers of Other
Languages for adult immigrant parents and international students. His poetry has been
published in Time of Singing, Tiferet, the Platform-Review, the Resistance Prays, Sensations
Magazine, The Gazette of the Church of St. Luke in the Fields, and the annual Riverside Poets
Anthology. He lives in South Orange, New Jersey, with his husband, the cellist and author
David Black, and their cat, Rawley.
Oru's Journey
one
He had heard of this place once before. Or maybe he had seen it, or felt it. It was not particularly beautiful nor particularly large, but it was in its own fully, and so, fully magnificent. He came upon it, willing to notice, as one ought to upon anything on any day. He felt it together - through him and with him.
It was Umi.
Atop a hill overseeing the land but never distant, Umi is home to all, even those that did not know. Trees and shrubberies rested atop her trails while the birds flew near and free. Their songs did not fill her skies but were a part of them. Their choruses did not rise with the winds and the winds did not guide their melodies. Wind and song were as indistinguishable as the rays of sunrise and sunset to a tree’s trusting leaves.
two
He was Oru.
Oru knew his name and his place in his home village. His hands were his honor and their creations his worth. He was schooled as a boy, like all children. He learned his place, he learned his trade, he learned to polish his mind and mouth. His people prospered. All had food to eat and water to drink. No one laid cold and alone at night. Winters came and went, summers all the quicker. And his people always stayed and worked and grew.
Oru loved his home. Laughter graced his ears often and Oru’s arms wrapped around warm bodies plentifully, both sheltering and sheltered every day. He felt content in this way and comfort within this way.
The village did not have walls, they did not need them. Every while an outsider might walk over their land and into the village. They were never the same in look or tongue, though they did make the same faces and did have the same needs. The village’s surroundings had been mapped and amended for generations as their means and needs multiplied in tandem with their descendants. As custom would have it, the villagers would give bread and a night’s shelter and guide the newcomers off on a suitable way the next day.
For many cycles this was the way.
That is until one especially beautiful day.
three
There was something particularly different about him. Something more than the dif erent of before. He arrived on foot as all the rest, and would leave just the same the following day. He did not ask for anything more than the others, but somehow still, his eyes prodded at something unscathed in the villagers, there was a weight to his presence that sank to an untouched place within their bodies. His posture and limbs told a tale they had not yet encountered.
Vaporous silence crept across the village. Even so, the villagers gave him a room and warm bread and would show him on his way in the morning prosaically, for what else was there to do.
But with the sunrise, the morning did not oblige the custom as they would please. The man was gone, and with him, a week’s provisions.
There were plentiful grain stores still and no possessional damage or bodily harm had been inflicted to anyone, but still the man’s unfamiliarity turned thievery and flight left the village like a child’s exploring feet unrests a riverbed. Tensions and suspicions bloomed like the thorned flowers of their vale. The same hands that crafted beautiful belongings, harvested and milled wheat, and braided children’s hair were now clenched tightly. Their fists, so too their minds, hardening in on themselves. It seemed to them now that the air waded heavily about their home. However still, the morning fog drifted away as the sun rose, and the fields rustled, and the birds praised the sky.
Oru knew the answer of his village and for his village. The outsider must return to profess his faults and plant grain in place of what was stolen. This was the way that had been taught, to maintain equilibrium, to maintain their peace.
He left without hesitation trusting a righteousness to direct his course.
Outside his village and vale, outside what he felt he knew, his breath was slower and his walk more sure. The purpose of his steps not undermined by the uncertainty of his path. He followed something he knew not fully of.
And Umi smiled in her unchartable distance.
four
A half day’s distance away, upon first sight she did not strike him like a lover’s gaze but stirred him like a melody long forgotten though still impressed on the heart. Oru thought that perhaps he had visited this place atop the hill as a child, with his family he wondered. He had no memories he could call on to affirm this, but he must’ve been here before.
His pace swiftened and his spirit enlivened. His family and loved ones never strayed far in his mind. He bridled their left-behind fears to his faith that he now anchored to this atemporal place beckoning him.
The closer he came to Umi, the more living creatures he noticed. They were not prancing more proudly nor chirping more loudly, but all the animals, those lounging in the shade, forging in the gravel, and weaving in the air, charmed his senses in a newfound way. Plants he even noticed seemed to anticipate the breeze’s ebb and flow. There was an abounding choreography. Sunrays cohered the swaying tops of the trees to the stretching roots of the grass, and everything in between. He had never known as pure a harmony, and though he did not question its reality, it provoked a curious sort of troubledness within him. Yet still, the sun was finally nestling into its clouded cocoon on the horizon, so too Oru let his body rest in the welcoming shadows.
He awoke just before dawn with a crystallized sense that here he would find the outsider and enjoin him to do as tradition says must be done.
While all else was still, Oru for the first time noticed the nearby stream’s devout trickle, the softest member of Umi’s chorus. Though very small, it reached from the top of the hill out farther across the land than Oru’s eyes could follow. He walked up along its amiable pebbled edge until he at last arrived at its modest crest.
five
The spring was waiting patiently at the peak. Meeker than any pond and somehow still more splendid, its perfect symmetry was made more enchanting by its sparkling, near luminescent water. Oru felt as though he were peering down further than the earth could possibly plunge from the highest mountain summit that could have ever formed, and yet it was the same humble hill he had seen from afar. Despite this seeming endlessness of the invisible nadir, he was not engulfed with fear but stirred with a calm awe. It was similar to the contentedness and comfort he felt in his village, but this called to something new or hibernating within him.
He was not sure how long he had been gazing down at the gently swirling water when he suddenly felt the gentle pull more tangibly to at least touch the water. Carefully from his knees, he placed his flat palm down upon the surface.
In an instant, words, time, physical sensation all left him. Rather, he felt himself limitless, without the bounds of identity, or codes, or loyalties. He was at once with the depths and with the heavens, he could not have spoken of his trade or even his name, but he now feel the sorrow in the outsider’s eyes.
His heart and mind were no longer separate, and neither were his affections for loved ones and those he knew not. With a clarity he had never possessed, he realized his immutable connection to all beings, across all times. There was no consideration for the laws and customs of his village as they were too brittle to withstand the vastitude Oru inhabited. He had lost himself and returned to all he was ever meant to be.
He had not merely entered Umi’s waters, he had reentered into communion with himself, his true self, in communion with all life as it was in the beginning and now and ever shall be. With the man with sorrow in his eyes. And he felt his sorrow and his soul, through him and with him and in him.
six
Oru woke under a modest tree, beginning to shed its leaves, while the wisp of a dream was melting away. He could no longer hear or remember Umi’s chorus, but his heart’s cadence was flowing to a softer song. And the outsider’s eyes were now etched in his mind in a new light. He still hoped to find him, but not to bring him back to the village and rectify what had passed. He hoped to find the man, to offer an embrace and a lasting welcome, to meet his humanity with his own and not custom.
His confidence had gone, but in its place was a deeper strength, an openness and an attunement to the things and creatures around him. He still longed to hold his loved ones, to break bread together, to witness the seasons come and go, but not simply as before.
The things he knew and loved were good. He was grateful for all his village created and was. And so too, was he hopeful for all his village could grow to welcome and love and be.
And so he set forth to come back home, and to invite others along with him. He did not know if he would happen upon the man with sorrow in his eyes and have the chance to truly know him. He did not know how he would return to his village at all. But he knew he was one small note of the greatest song. With that, he carried on.
And hoped to find some bread for his journey. Perhaps a week’s provisions.
Maggie Pfeffer is a twenty-nine-year-old Texan drawn to borders of all kinds. She is currently battling imposter syndrome amongst academics in her Master’s program in International Development, and seeks to find small ways in which she can help bridge gaps in perspectives, and then, in loving actions.
Painting: "The Birth of Venus," oil on canvas, by Pam Abela
Goddesses of the past, I call to you
Rise up and bring justice to the earth
The soil weeps, why do you sleep?
Mother of Earth, Mother of Death
WAKE UP howling wind
The goddess in me knows no yesterday
She rises from the depths of the sea
Battered and bruised she screams revenge
I AM Mother of Children, Mother of Life
LISTEN to ME storming fire
Protect the trees and the forests, the waters and the seas
The mountains that pierce the sky and the valleys where you rest
I pray to you, blessed womb
Goddess divine unfold within
COME gentle breeze
I am a breath of fresh air
I look within,
to my epicentre,
to that point of alignment where heaven meets earth,
where stars gather into an intimate constellation.
I imagine it pulsating with constancy,
alive, breathing,
burning with possibility.
I am a breath of fresh air,
a universe unfolding.
Strong yet fragile,
replete yet deplete.
A space uncontaminated,
purified with my pain,
saturated with my glory.
I am new flesh multiplying,
healthy tissue that grows and folds over,
An abundance that swells, infiltrating my microcosm,
sealing the fissures that penetrate my existence.
What if I reach out for you,
Cradle your hand in mine?
I will put your hands to my lips
and kiss your palms.
My warmth will ooze out into you,
resolve your weakness,
soften your pain.
Let me know your hurts,
let me know your fears,
let me know your suffering.
They are you,
intensely you.
Take me into your being.
Let my seeing eyes water,
my knowing lips curve.
When my truth meets yours,
our knowledge will ascend all boundaries,
our awareness, all divisions.
And together we can appreciate our bitter-sweet goodness.
Jiena ż- żiffa l- ħelwa/fl- epicentru ta’ ruħi
Inħares ġewwa l-qalba ta’ ruħi,
Sal-punt fejn jingħaqdu l-ġenna u l-art,
Fejn il-kwiekeb jinġemgħu f’kostellażżjoni intima.
Hekk nistħajjilha tħabbat ruħi, ħajja u kostanti,
Għatxana għal kull xaqq dawl.
Jien nifs ta’ arja friska, ta’ univers dejjem jiġġedded.
B’ saħħti imma fraġli,
Sħiħa imma għerja,
Spażju mhux mimsus,
Imsaffija b’weġgħati, imkabbra b’ġieħi.
Nistħajjel laħam ġdid qiegħed jifforma,
Tessuti ġodda jinbtu u jagħqdu,
Abbundanti jitkattruli, jinfiltrawli l-mikrokożmu,
ix-xquq jagħlqulili jinfduli l-għajxien tiegħi.
X’jiġrili jekk noħrog idejja,
Inħaddan tiegħek f’ tiegħi?
Imbagħad inressaqhom lejn xufftejja
U nbuslek il-pala ta’ jdejk.
Is-sħana tiegħi tiskula fik,
Tinfed id-dgħufija tiegħek, trattablek kull weġgħa.
Ħallini nagħraf it-tbatijiet tiegħek,
Ħallini nagħraf il-beżgħat tiegħek,
Ħallini nagħraf is-sofferenzi tiegħek.
Huma int, intensament int.
Ħudni fil-ġewwieni tiegħek.
Ħallini ngħarrex sbuħitek, dak kollu li int.
Ħalli ‘l għajnejja jimlew u jdemmgħu,
Ħalli ‘l xufftejja jinbarmu u jitbissmu.
Meta l-verità tiegħi tiltaqa’ ma tiegħek,
l-għarfien tagħna jirbaħ kull konfini,
il-fehma tagħna, kull firda.
U flimkien napprezzaw
Il-benna morra-ħelwa tagħna t-tnejn.
Ħallini nara u nifhem.
B’merħba nilqa’ l-għarfien tagħhom.
As a curator for therapeutic spaces, Pam Abela seeks to bring together her background in art practice and nursing. She negotiates a vocabulary of creative language from workshops, site-relevant art and performances to design interventions. She uses research to guide her and metaphorical narrative to communicate her thoughts on wellbeing and illness. All this serves to define and enhance the therapeutic environment. When experiencing the overlap of these roles in an inquisitive way, curating and nursing reinforce each other, leading to the development of a relational and artistic practice in a clinical setting. Pam, through Deep Shelter Project, has been awarded the Best Project in the Community at the Malta Arts Awards, 2019.
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